Bet rest can take its toll on your body. You lose muscle
mass quickly and this can affect your ability to move suddenly.
Or so you think.
It was bed time, a very normal, typical bed time in our
house. All the four-leggers went out for the last potty break. Husband and I
got water and took my prenatals and other such stuff. Someone turned on the TV.
The four leggers came back. Small dog jumped on the bed to start doing his
nightly routine of circling the same
spot 589 times before he slept.
Nothing unusual, that is, until my husband fluffed the
comforter.
I didn’t know what it was, but it was dark and dense and it came
flying at me out of nowhere and hit me in the chest.
“OH MY GOD!” I
screamed. I jumped straight up in the air, did some sort of X-Men, Chuck Norris
kick and immediately landed on all fours on the other side of the bed
(booyah!).
“WHAT THE HELL IS IT??!?!” I screamed, with a voice so
shrill I believe I heard a bat crash into the side of the house.
“What? What is it?” My husband said in a tone of voice that
clearly did not grasp the danger of the situation or seem impressed by my mad
Ninja reflexes.
“ I don’t see anything. Calm down.” He calmly (and with no
superpowers) stated.
“IT’S HUGE AND BLACK AND IT FELL FROM THE SKY AND I THINK IT
BIT ME! GET IT BEFORE IT KILLS US ALL! I BET YOUR CAT BROUGHT IT IN! HE DIES AT
DAWN! OH MY GOD, IT MOVED! WHAT THE HELL IS IT?!?!” (Another bat hits the side
of the house).
“Babe, let me look….” He moves the blanket and peers over at
this mystery thing.
“It’s a…”
“YES?”
“A…..hmmm?”
“You’re killing me smalls. What is it?” I’m speaking in
non-sonar effecting tones now.
“It appears to be a ………………….. FRUIT SNACK!” He said and then….
He ate it.
The moral of the story is, don’t eat fruit snacks in bed and
don’t underestimate yourself in a fight or flight scenario. You may develop
super human-Chuck-Norris like powers, even at 6 months pregnant.
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